Chew on This

If you like to go out to eat, you should probably read this blog BEFORE your next trip to a restaurant. This will help anyone who isn't 100% clear on how to act in a restaurant. Oh, and I'll also show all you non-tipping you-know-whats how to do that as well.

1. LET THE SERVER TALK!: After you've been seated and the server is making their first trip to your table to introduce themselves, let them do it. Cutting them off in the middle of telling you their name and/or the daily specials is really annoying, and not to mention rude. Waiting 30 seconds to tell your server that you want an iced tea isn't going to make you die of thirst. I promise.


2. SHHHH: If you need something and your server is at another table, talking to other guests, wait until they are finished and then try to get their attention. If you can't flag them down, don't scream their name after they've walked away and please, please don't get up and try to follow them. This may be a surprise to some of you, but there are other servers that are willing to help. Ask someone else!


3. COMPLAINTS: You order something you've never tried before and you don't like it, it's cold or it's not what you expected, you should know it in the first few bites. So, if you want to complain about something, do it before you've eaten the whole plate of food. Furthermore, if the server asks you if you'd like to speak with a manager, the answer is always yes. Otherwise, there is no point in complaining to your server about anything. Chances are, if you don't feel comfortable speaking with a manager then your complaints are probably stupid anyway.



4. COMPLIMENTS: Managers love hearing about employees that are going above and beyond. So, if your server made your dining out experience that much more enjoyable, tell their manager. Go on, they won't bite!



5. PAYING & TIPPING: Make sure you have enough money to pay the bill and tip. The tip should be between 18-20%. To calculate this, move the decimal point to the left once and multiply by 2. (Example: Total bill=$40.00. 4x2=8. Your tip should be $8.00.) Bottom line, don't take your entire family out to steak dinners, if you can't pay up. Plain and simple.

Daisy Don't

My Sunday evenings are usually spent at a local bar that has karaoke. I refrain from calling it a "karaoke bar," well, because it's not. It's simply a bar that has karaoke on Sunday and Thursday nights. It's also a night that the bar features very cheap drinks and a very cute KJ. Those three things together make the perfect night for a newly turned 21 year old girl, or group of them, to go out (or 45 year olds who act like they're 21). Thus, we have reached the whole point of this blog.

The past few weeks at the bar, I've noticed a disturbing trend in female fashion: cut off jeans (or a jean skirt) that are so short, the pockets are LONGER than the item of clothing itself. Picture that. I'm not sure who decided that looks good, but it doesn't. What's the point? Do the girls that are wearing these ridiculous shorts think it's sexy? Again, it's not. I'm all for wearing some booty shorts, but the pockets DON'T need to be hanging out from underneath. Even Daisy Duke, herself, never looked so stupid. And folks, I'm talking about the real Daisy Duke, not the one portrayed by Jessica Simpson.

I wish someone would tell these girls it ain't cute. God help them if it has to be me.